tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25425497.post4924090016845409791..comments2009-11-18T00:20:57.267-08:00Anne Corwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04940566603711834053noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25425497.post-17902516600279741082009-11-18T00:20:57.267-08:002009-11-18T00:20:57.267-08:00(I&#39;m afraid I&#39;ve paraphrased a lot here from the OP, but hopefully the perspective makes it worthwhile.)<br /><br />I think people tend to start out with a certain information set that they&#39;re operating with, and circumstances coach how well they can modify it in real time. The duality of communication seems to be the degrees to which a vocalizer explains and a listener ascertains. These 2 roles are swapping constantly with every type of mistake and miscommunication imaginable, and it&#39;s work to try to align both human minds. <br />Thinking of it this way, I have to agree that it&#39;s necessary at times to completely blow past what a recipient is currently equipped to handle. This can really really agitate people, but hopefully we make the good decisions to do it when it&#39;s better to get everything out there, sloppy or not. <br /><br />Your frustration reminds of younger days when I noticed that people around me were able to willfully acknowledge that it was wrong to hate a man because of the color of his skin (that&#39;s racist!), but couldn&#39;t stop themselves from making fun of the fat kid or the girl with weird hair. <br />I couldn&#39;t guess the cause in any specific instance, but I think it&#39;s affected by level of comprehension of the concept (which may suffer from memorization and exhaltation independent of understanding) and extrapolation/application. The other factor inhibiting this is whether they have any drive to do so, as purportting has it&#39;s own social and psychological rewards regardless of connection to truth.<br /><br />After years of arguing with a significant other of the time, I gradually realized that I was largely being argued with for the sake of dominance displays and posturing. I was coming at the conversations with an expectation of information analysis and exchange. My debatee came at it as an attempt to assert theirself. Hence: declarations are considered under coloration of what the statement might mean about the listener... or something like that - it&#39;s not my basic perspective. <br />I have since discovered rhetoric for the first time as a cognizant adult, which from youth I had intuitively avoided as unfactual. But so much human interaction is about assertion (me big, you little, me smart, you dumb) that people reflexively include a fight/flight response to challenging presentations. <br /><br />It&#39;s especially difficult to avoid accepting the role of attacker when someone&#39;s mindset has already labeled you for that role. It&#39;s an example of a self-fulfilling prophecy, i.e. &#39;I&#39;m going to treat you like you&#39;re a jerk and then you&#39;re going to get all angry and controversial because you&#39;re a jerk.&#39; So, the best way to handle it seems to be very aware of my own REAL attitude (which may or may not be jerk 8) and communicate that honestly and clearly. <br />At any rate, frustrated communication sucks, but I keep rallying for the sake of good intentions. I remind myself that I also fail to make logical connections constantly, and try to see what good stuff I can learn from someone else&#39;s knowledge set.OceanRage101http://www.blogger.com/profile/03190667218640558309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25425497.post-55325024851655516402009-08-18T21:25:32.215-07:002009-08-18T21:25:32.215-07:00This sounds fair. <br /><br />I also think that, if you do choose to write or speak about some type of oppression you don&#39;t experience directly, there&#39;s a balance to be struck between &quot;paying attention to _____ issues&quot; and &quot;using your ______ privilege to barge in, dominate the discussion and annoy everyone with your ignorance&quot;.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10860246538349067232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25425497.post-49715568600892893902009-08-12T02:41:50.719-07:002009-08-12T02:41:50.719-07:00Funny, this is why I took down my own blog!<br /><br />Keep in mind that there are a lot of people on the internet who are just looking for an argument and will chime in for or against anything whether they believe what they are writing or not. <br /><br />I particularly love it when I use a phrase like &quot;in general&quot; right up front, and then some bozo accuses me of generalizing.Michaelnoreply@blogger.com